Why This...Why Now

My run went surprisingly well yesterday.  It actually felt good to run during the running intervals.  I tried slowing my pace a bit which helped tremendously and I think I was a bit more relaxed and confident today than I was on Monday.  Unfortunately, after the session was completed my legs felt like they were going to give out any moment.  It was strange because during the run my legs felt fine but as soon as I stopped to walk the pain would set in.  My breathing was good and I didn’t feel winded like I did previously.  All in all it was a great run and I am ready to complete week one.

Several of you have asked me what program I am doing.  It is called Couch to 5K and it is FREE!  It is a program that gets you from sitting on the couch to running 3.1 miles in just nine weeks.  Yes NINE weeks!   They have it all planned out and tell you exactly what to run.  To help me know when to run and walk I downloaded some podcasts that were available for FREE online.   You can find the one I am currently using here.  I enjoy the music but most of all I find being told when to run and stop to walk very helpful.  The music works out better than having to constantly keep looking down at a watch.    

Another question I have gotten is what meal plan I am using.  I currently don’t have a meal plan and don’t plan on going on one either.  I eat what I want to eat.  I just do it in moderation.  The only thing I have done is cut out candy.  Literally I would fill up on candy and not want to eat a decent meal.  I won’t deprive myself but I won’t buy it and bring it into the house.  I am horrible at mindless eating.  The other day I ate a pound of baby carrots in one sitting!  It was all because I was watching a show and not being conscious of eating so many.  Lucky for me they were only carrots but had that been a bag of chips…whew, that wouldn’t have been healthy.  What seems to work now and has worked in the past for me is to eat small meals six times a day.  The day looks like this for eating:

Breakfast

Snack (no more than 150 calories)

Lunch

Snack (once again no more than 150 calories)

Dinner

Snack (no more than 150 calories)

You would be surprised at how full you will be if you eat throughout the day and not starve yourself.  As previously stated, these are small meals.  They are appropriately portioned meals.  Remember, portion control is your friend!  I think any time you limit yourself it all becomes a mind game.  Why not have a slice of pizza that you have been craving?  Then pair it with a nice salad?  That seems healthy enough.  I am not a professional but I would think that if you were cognizant of the types of food that were entering into your body you would be fine.  Instead of eating a lot of processed foods why not try to eat ‘whole’ foods?  By eating whole foods you can cut out a lot of preservatives and calories.  Plus it is healthier.  And that is our goal, isn’t it? 

I have been thinking a lot lately about my new found peace with myself and body.  Anyone who really knew me would tell you that I worried a lot about my weight in the past.  Just gaining five pounds would freak me out.  Back then I was never healthy or engaging in activities that were good for me.  After having JW my thinking and body image was transformed.  Instead of wanting to be a certain size or weight I decided that I needed a lifestyle change not an appearance change.  I wanted something that would benefit me and my family.  I chose being healthy and active so my child has something positive to emulate.  I could’ve chosen to diet and lose weight but what was that really accomplishing?  Yea, I would be skinnier but would I be able to go out and really play with my son?  Would we be able to enter races as a family and center our family fun around physical activities?  I think not.  There is more to life than being skinny and fitting into a certain size jean.  Skinny jeans won’t make memories.  I will make them because I am taking my life by the reins and living it to the fullest!       

The inspiration…my motivation…(isn't he adorable?!) 

5 pounds

Here are the stats and pictures as promised...

Height:     5’3”

Weight:    176  

BMI:         31.2 

I got awesome news today when I stepped on the scale!  Last Tuesday I made the conscious decision to start weighing myself.  Prior to this I didn’t know how much I weighed because I refused to know.  Throughout my whole pregnancy I was the kooky woman being weighed backwards so I couldn’t see the scale!  My chart had “Do NOT tell PT her weight” written across the top in big red letters.  I have always hated scales.  Even if I was at a good number I would get fixated and think I needed to lose just five more pounds.  Now though, I have decided it would be good to know my weight so that I can track any changes.  It was quite comical watching my father and me banter back and forth about whether or not I should know my weight.  You would’ve thought we were deciding how to resolve world hunger by the way we were going on about it.  Finally I pushed myself on the scale and kept repeating “I am not a number…I am HEATHER”!  I weighed in at 181 pounds.  Surprisingly I was okay with that number.  My goal isn’t about losing weight.  It’s about running a 5K.  You see, I think that, if my goal was reversed and my focus was solely on losing weight, I would be upset with how much I weigh.  This is why I don’t think dieting alone works.  Your goal is to lose weight but not necessarily change your lifestyle or find some physical activity you enjoy.  Today I was asked if I was dieting along with running.  The answer is no.  Let me first clarify so you don’t think I am sitting at home eating whatever comes across my plate.  (The old me would eat Twizzlers or popcorn and call it a meal.)  These days I am making more informed choices about what I eat and put into my body.  I realize that I can’t eat candy and snacks all day to live healthy.  It all boils down to moderation.  Two of my reasons for not “dieting” are as follow:  

1)      Dieting limits your caloric intake which I can’t do because of breastfeeding JW.  As a breastfeeding mother if I don’t provide my body with enough calories my milk supply will suffer.

2)      Dieting instead of making a lifestyle change seems counterproductive.  Why not just change your mindset and make permanent fixes instead of temporary ones?  Dieting, in my opinion, is a temporary fix. 

It would definitely be easier for me to diet and control my food.  Being a control freak comes easily to my Type A personality.

Without “dieting” I lost a whopping 5lbs in a week!  I almost fell off the scale when I saw 176lbs!  I ran out to the living room to my family screaming with excitement.  My dad took a picture of the scale for me so I could share with everyone how much I weighed.

 

Today I realized more than ever that exercise combined with healthy eating habits does work!

If you are interested in knowing your BMI find out what it is here.

That's IT?!

I am not going to lie today was more challenging than I had anticipated.  During the run I kept wondering why I had even set out to achieve this particular goal.  Each time I started running I didn’t think I would make it through the entire 60 seconds.  Reading the plan on paper it looked to be a whole lot easier than what it actually turned out to be for me.  Run 60 seconds then walk for 90 seconds that seemed painless enough.  Once I was out there doing it I found out quickly just how out of shape I am.  It was nice though having my son and father walking behind me cheering me on as I worked hard to run.  Okay, JW wasn’t cheering but I am sure one day he will be proud of me for doing this.  Having a father who runs marathons for fun would seem to be beneficial in case I have any questions, right?!  NO!  Don’t get me wrong, my father supports my efforts but he doesn’t understand just how hard my body is working to keep me going forward each step of the way.  At one point when I had finished one of the 60 seconds he yelled out at me and said, “that’s it?!”  I honestly wanted to punch him at that point.  Well maybe not punch him but I was seriously annoyed at him in that moment.  J  Being my size isn’t easy running and getting my booty moving.  I joke and say that I have two big ham hocks weighing me down on my backside. 

    

How did I get to this point of being so out of shape?  It is a simple answer.  Smoking, drinking and being very lazy all got me to where I am at today.  During that time I was skinny and didn’t worry that I was unhealthy.  It didn’t matter to me because outwardly I looked healthy enough.  However, all of those bad habits set me up to fail and fail I did.  Now I am feeling all of the years of damage I did to my body.  I wish I could go back and undo a lot of the harm I put my body through but I can’t.  All I have is today and I am fine with that.  As long as I make each day count and make it as healthy as possible then I am headed in the right direction.  This is a life style because anything else is a temporary fix.  Temporary is no longer adequate because now I have a child who needs me to be a good example.     

After finishing week one day one of the program I am quite pleased with myself.  I know it is going to be strenuous but I have confidence in myself to see it through and accomplish this goal.

Pictures and stats of my body should be up this week.  My little brother is going to play photographer and measure me.  I am so thankful to have him help me because I know that he isn’t judging me no matter what. 

If any of you are on the fence about starting a running program get off of it and just DO IT!           

Couch to 5K

Even though I have been working out lately and pushing myself physically I am still very nervous starting my new running regimen today.  The program is called Couch to 5K.  After reading a lot of success stories I decided this was the perfect way to get back into running.  After years of not being active I knew it wouldn’t be like riding a bike that I needed to prepare and train.  Couch to 5K says it should take nine weeks to be able to go from the sitting on the couch to running 3.1 miles.  Nine weeks doesn’t seem long enough but I am ready for a challenge.    

If I can dream it I can achieve it… 

   

Embracing Myself

Over the next nine weeks I will be training for a 5K.  It won’t be easy for me as I haven't exercised in years.  One could say I am a professional couch potato.  During my years in the Air Force I would run once a year to pass a mandatory fitness test.  It would almost kill me trying to run 1.5 miles, crunches and push-ups.  I was so out of shape but no one really knew because I was skinny.  Maybe they just didn’t care because I would pass my fitness test and met the uniform standards.  Back then I was as unhealthy as it gets but it really was never addressed.  Currently I am considered obese based on my BMI (Body Mass Index).  Yep, you read that right, OBESE.  Looking at myself in the mirror, which I rarely do, I would have never classified myself obese.  In my mind’s eye I saw myself about average.  Not too big and not too little but thanks to the CDC's BMI calculator I now know I need to lose weight.  Just to be considered overweight I need to lose 12 pounds.  Am I really that out of shape or unhealthy?  Personally I don’t feel that I am but numbers don’t lie.  These days I eat healthier and make sure that every calorie counts due to me breastfeeding JW my 3 month old son.  My goal has been to treat my body with respect especially since I am my child’s food source.  All of this got me thinking that most women would not dare share their weight.  Women keep that number secret and avoid it like the plague.  I have decided I am going to fully disclose all information about my body.  Why?  Because I am not my weight.  I am not a number.  I am me.  And I really do like me. 

After having my baby (13 weeks ago via c-section) I thought I could privately lose the weight for fear someone might see the new (obese) me.  What a silly perception that was.  I would go to the park during the middle of the day when most people are at work in order to avoid being seen.  My second day walking in the park I ran into an old friend from school.  This is the absolute last person I wanted to encounter because she is naturally gorgeous and I wasn't wearing any makeup and had on tights which accentuated my rather large thighs.  She on the other hand...is especially stunning even in gym clothes and no makeup.  At first I thought I would try to ignore her and hope she didn't recognize me but, alas, no such luck.  She knew it was me and I was caught!  As we were talking I kept staring at her to see if she was thinking any negative thoughts about me.  Crazy, right?  Am I the only woman who does this?  After this little run-in I was thinking about the way I had internally reacted and was disappointed with myself.  Instead of really enjoying and taking advantage of this moment I spent it worrying that she was judging me.  She wasn't judging me, I was judging me.  In that instant I realized that I had to get a grip on my self esteem.  I couldn't keep hiding myself and dodging my friends.  So I decided to run.  My decision to run really isn't about losing the weight (though it is an obvious benefit).  It is about respecting my body and accepting me for who I am no matter my size.  It is about having a healthier lifestyle.  Running takes mental preparation and determination.  It takes discipline.  I cannot hide while running and entering into races.  I will be in public (gasp) running my booty off.  No pun intended.  :) 

I don't want to hide and I certainly don't want to be ashamed because, at the end of the day, I am still Heather no matter how much I weigh.  Maybe by embracing myself (for once) I will learn to love myself and treat my body with respect.  I am running for me and I don’t care who sees!

    

This week I will post pictures of my true self, share my weight, BMI calculation and body fat %.  Stay tuned...