Headcase

I have just completed week four and cannot wait to start week five.  The beginning of week four was really challenging for me.  During the first two runs of this week I was seriously questioning my resolve.  I was seriously thinking that I wouldn’t be able to run more than five minutes at a time.  Those five minutes were killing me but I found that it was more mental than anything.  Once I pushed those thoughts out of my head and stopped thinking about how long the run was I actually found a nice stride and ran the best I had all week.  The only thing keeping me going was the knowledge that this program does work and my body CAN be pushed.  Because of bad weather I had to run two consecutive days but that didn’t seem to affect my running in the least.  Today I was quite shocked at how well I actually did.  Especially at the end of the run.  During the last half of the run my IPod died so I had to use a watch.  Personally I thought I would hate using a watch but I found I ran well without the IPod.  The last five minutes I increased my speed overall and even sprinted the last thirty seconds.  Feeling good I decided to run to the finish line which turned out to be an extra minute.  Week five doesn’t look so daunting after completing tonight’s run.  

This week has actually been quite difficult as my body seems to be affected by the running.  My milk supply has taken a dramatic hit and now I am struggling to be able to feed my baby.  I had been weighing myself weekly and not seeing much of a weight difference so I hadn’t thought that my body was using more calories than what I had been putting into it.  Turns out that I had not been bringing in enough calories to sustain breast feeding JW.  I have started writing down all of my meals just so I can make sure I am getting enough nutrients to continue breast feeding.  As I have said before, losing weight is not my focus.  Which is evident when I came home last night and ate two cups of Greek yogurt which had 250 calories each.  Would I like to be able to eat less and lose weight faster?  Heck yes!  However, it is my responsibility to feed JW the best way I know how.  If that means eating more calories and not losing weight as fast then so be it because at the end of the day the weight will come off.  It just might be later rather than sooner!    

Today is my husband’s birthday.  I am so bummed out that he isn’t home to celebrate with us as a family.  He is the most wonderful and honorable man I know.  God blessed me so much the day He put Josh back into my life.  When I say 'back' I am referring to the fact that Josh was actually my seventh grade boyfriend.  It wasn’t until thirteen years later that we would find each other and fall back in love.  Thankfully I was receptive to loving someone just as much as they loved me.  It took me many years to finally get to a place where I could receive love with open arms.  Josh was just the right person who knew exactly what I needed and how to love me (Which is not an easy task).  If you have a special person in your life please make sure to hug and tell them how much you love them a little extra today.  OH how much I wish I could have a hug right now.